I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

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• I fear for the calendar, its days are numbered.

  February 19, 2025

• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

  February 23, 2023

• I had a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary. It just goes from bad to worse.

  February 13, 2024