Halloween Jokes

Halloween is all about having family fun so here are some particularly batty Halloween jokes to help you get started; watch out, these jokes might be the death of you!

What is a ghost’s favourite meal?
-Spookghetti

What did the ghoul say to the vampire?
-You really suck!


Halloween joke

Why did the vampire puke after biting Taylor Swift?


What is a witch’s favourite lesson at school?
-Spelling!

What did the My Little Pony wear as a Halloween fancy dress costume?
-She went as a Night Mare.

Why wouldn’t the skeleton go trick or treating?
– Because he didn’t have any guts!

What are you likely to find on a haunted beach?
– I don’t know, what are you likely to find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!


Halloween joke

What do you get when you cross a strict teacher with a vampire?


Why do ghosts hate rainy Halloweens?
– Why?
Rain never fails to dampen their spirits! 


These ‘knock, knock’ Halloween jokes will definitely make trick or treating go with a swing!

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you would like to go for a ride on my broomstick?

Knock, knock…
Who’s there? 
Philip.
Philip, who?
Philip my bag with sweets, NOW!

Knock, Knock…
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
You just said it!!


What kind of music do mummies like listening to at parties?
WRAP Music!


Halloween joke

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?


When a ghost attends a Cub Scout meeting, what is their favorite event?
The Boo and Gold ceremony!


Well, when a witch attends a Cub Scout meeting, what is their favorite event?
The Brew and Gold ceremony!


OK, so when a werewolf attends a Cub Scout meeting, what is their favorite event?
The PACK meetings!


What rides at the carnival do ghosts like riding the most?
The Roller-GHOSTER and the Scary-Go-Round!


Why do ghosts love to ride on elevators all the time when they are not out scaring people?
It helps to RAISE their spirits!


Two scary monster brothers were invited to a Halloween party. They arrived to a house full of ghosts, goblins, and other scary monsters. One of the monster brothers said to the other, “Some cute girl monster just rolled her eyes at me. What do you think I should do?” The other brother monster though about it for a while and replied, ” Be a nice monster and roll them back over to her!”


Where do monsters buy the cookies each year when they crave sweets?
From the GHOUL Scouts!


So what do you get when you cross a very strict school teacher and a vampire?
Lots and lots of blood tests!


Knock Knock!
Ok, Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad that Halloween is finally here!


A ghost decided he wanted to take a little break the day after Halloween and checked himself into a cozy little bed and breakfast hotel on the edge of town. The ghost came downstairs the following evening for dinner and made a strange request to the waitress. “Can I please have two eggs, one of the eggs I want really tough and the other egg i want extremely rubbery. Then I need you to burn the bacon to a crisp, and overcook the toast!”

The confused waitress took a second, then said to the ghost, “I am terribly sorry but we do not serve that scary food here!”

The ghost smiled and replied to the waitress, “I don’t understand, you served it to me yesterday!”


Image by JD Hancock