Christian Jokes

There was an old country church in a little village. The pastor of the church noticed the outside of the building was starting to look a little shabby and in bad need of a fresh coat of paint. He went and bought three gallons of paint and started to paint the church. The front looked great, but he still had three sides to go and had already used up one gallon of paint.

Being a thrifty person, he decided to thin down the other two gallons. When he finished and walked around to admire the church, it looked great. That night it rained very, very hard. In the morning he went out to see how the church looked. The front of the building still looked great, but the other three sides had washed off almost completely.

The pastor looked up to the sky in frustration and cried out, “Now what?”

From heaven came a voice, “Repaint, and thin no more!”



What was Noah’s favorite fruit?
Pears! (pairs)


Teacher: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing when he was on the ark?
Student: He only had two worms!


A minister was wondering whether there were any golf courses in heaven and started praying about it. One day he received an answer direct from heaven.

The messenger told him, “Yes, there are many fine golf courses in heaven. The greens are in excellent condition and the weather is always perfect. Not only that, you get to play with the nicest people.”

“Thank you, that is great news,” replied the minister.
The messenger answered, “Yes, it is, and we have you down for a foursome next Saturday.”



One day a little boy was looking through his big family Bible. He was turning pages when a leaf fluttered to the floor. He picked it up and as he ran to his mother he said, “Look! I think I found Adam’s underwear!”


Who was the smallest person in the Bible?
Knee high miah!



What was Boaz like before he got married?
Ruthless!


Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.