I burned 2000 calories today, I left my food in the oven for too long.

• Next story I once lost a banana at court but then I appealed.
• Previous story At the boxing match, the dad got into the popcorn line and the line for hot dogs, but he wanted to stay out of the punchline.

You may also like...

• Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing? Just in case you get a hole in one.

  May 11, 2023

• To the person who stole my anti-depressant pills: I hope you’re happy now.

  September 5, 2024

• I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix.

  June 13, 2023