I burned 2000 calories today, I left my food in the oven for too long.

• Next story Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
• Previous story Man, I really love my furniture… me and my recliner go way back.

You may also like...

• What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?

  August 11, 2022

• I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

  May 15, 2023

• How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian

  February 16, 2023