I burned 2000 calories today, I left my food in the oven for too long.

• Next story Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.
• Previous story Man, I really love my furniture… me and my recliner go way back.

You may also like...

• How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

  December 22, 2023

• Child: Dad, make me a sandwich. Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.

  February 15, 2021

• Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders? To hold his pants up.

  April 7, 2024