I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic, they said: go ahead, knock yourself out.

• Next story What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
• Previous story A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?” The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

You may also like...

• Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.

  November 26, 2021

• Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

  October 25, 2022

• I was at the library and asked if they have any books on “paranoia”, the librarian replied, “yes, they are right behind you”

  February 26, 2025