The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”

• Next story I’m practicing for a bug-eating contest and I’ve got butterflies in my stomach.
• Previous story Hostess: Do you have a preference of where you sit? Dad: Down.

You may also like...

• I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

  March 26, 2025

• Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore.

  March 7, 2023

• What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!

  December 5, 2021