I fear for the calendar, its days are numbered.

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• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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• What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

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• What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash.

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