I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic, they said: go ahead, knock yourself out.

• Next story What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.
• Previous story A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. “Sure thing” the bartender replies and asks “but what’s with the big pause?” The panda holds up his hands and says “I was born with them”

You may also like...

• People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.

  February 16, 2021

• Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they’d all say “Bach bach bach!”

  September 24, 2024

• Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had loco motives

  October 18, 2022