Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, ‘No, just leave it in the carton!’

• Next story Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.
• Previous story Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they’d all say “Bach bach bach!”

You may also like...

• A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that’s the last thing I need.

  December 6, 2022

• I just got fired from a florist, apparently I took too many leaves.

  October 19, 2023

• I thought my wife was joking when she said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop signing “I’m A Believer”… Then I saw her face.

  January 29, 2024