What’s the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher? They can’t control their pupils.

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• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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• Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

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• What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.

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