Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches? They have no hands to knock on the door.

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• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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• What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed? “Don’t look I’m changing!”

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