Zombie Jokes

The year is 2048, a strange virus has overtaken most of the population. They’re suspiciously hungry for brains, which makes you think maybe it’s time to avoid people with rotting flesh that are walking with a limp. It’s really no time for zombie jokes, but the dad in you just won’t let them go…

Your son turns to you and says,

‘Dad, do you think the zombies find us here?

Yeah son – I reckon they’re dead set on coming and getting us.

C’mon dad, seriously.

Okay son, don’t worry I think we’ve got the brains to make a good getaway plan.

Dad seriously this is no time for zombie jokes! I reckon we should get out of here pretty quickly – they’re so close you can smell them!

Oh that’s just rot… but seriously no more zombie jokes. I think you’re old enough to make decisions now, why don’t you chews the way we should run.

Okay, let’s run and hide in that abandoned hospital.

Hmmm I’m not sure that’s a good idea, let’s flesh the plan out a little more.

You said no more zombie jokes! If you loved me you’d stop dad.

Okay son – no more zombie jokes I promise. Of corpse I love you.


Some really bad zombie jokes you can really sink your teeth in to

Why do zombies make good ringtones?
They produce lots of sound bites!

Why did “The Walking Dead” win an Emmy?

What did the zombie say before his fight?
Do you want a piece of me?

Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind!


What does a zombie get when he’s late for dinner?
The cold SHOULDER!

Why didn’t the zombie get the job?
They wanted someone more lively!

How do zombies tell their future?
With their HORRORscope!

Photo by Daniel Hollister