Christian Jokes

Christian jokes thanks to this Christian designer

There was an old country church in a little village. The pastor of the church noticed the outside of the building was starting to look a little shabby and in bad need of a fresh coat of paint. He went and bought three gallons of paint and started to paint the church. The front looked great, but he still had three sides to go and had already used up one gallon of paint.

Being a thrifty person, he decided to thin down the other two gallons. When he finished and walked around to admire the church, it looked great. That night it rained very, very hard. In the morning he went out to see how the church looked. The front of the building still looked great, but the other three sides had washed off almost completely.

The pastor looked up to the sky in frustration and cried out, “Now what?”

Why was Noah the best businessperson in the Bible? Because he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation!

Why don’t they play poker in Heaven? Because Revelation says there will be no more ‘dealing’ with sin.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? Even then, men hated asking for directions.

How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful preacher? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What kind of car does Jesus typically drive? A Christler!

What’s God’s favorite chord? Gsus.

How do we know that Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income!

Why did David bring a ruler to the battlefield with Goliath? Because he heard that Goliath was quite the measure in his time.

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

From heaven came a voice, “Repaint, and thin no more!”

What was Noah’s favorite fruit?
Pears! (pairs)

Teacher: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing when he was on the ark?
Student: He only had two worms!

A minister was wondering whether there were any golf courses in heaven and started praying about it. One day he received an answer direct from heaven.

The messenger told him, “Yes, there are many fine golf courses in heaven. The greens are in excellent condition and the weather is always perfect. Not only that, you get to play with the nicest people.”

“Thank you, that is great news,” replied the minister.
The messenger answered, “Yes, it is, and we have you down for a foursome next Saturday.”

One day a little boy was looking through his big family Bible. He was turning pages when a leaf fluttered to the floor. He picked it up and as he ran to his mother he said, “Look! I think I found Adam’s underwear!”

Who was the smallest person in the Bible?
Knee high miah!

What was Boaz like before he got married?

Who was the smartest man in the Bible?
Abraham. He knew a Lot.