Animal Jokes

It’s no understatement to say that animals have always been a source of fascination to humans. Did you know that word ‘animal’ comes from the Latin word animalis? It means “having breath”, and there are probably around 200 million insects alone for each human on the planet. Animals are everywhere, and yet the Internet seems mainly obsessed by cats.

Well we’re here to do more for you than just cat jokes.
The only problem? Good animal jokes can be an absolute dog to write.

How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.


Q. What is smarter than a talking bird?
A. A spelling bee

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
Here come the elephants.

What did Jane say?
Nothing, she was color blind.

Son: Dad, why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long?
Dad: If it were 12 inches long it would be a foot!

It’s no coincidence that man’s best friend cannot talk.

Why did the zebra beat the horse at chess?
Because it’s a-frican genius.

What do you call an easy-going rabbit?

Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Son: To get to your house.

Dad: Knock knock
Son: Who’s there?
Dad: The chicken.


Two birds were sitting on a tree and one looked at the other and said, ‘Wow today really flew by’.

Wanna go on a picnic?
Sure – alpaca lunch!

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs bunny.

What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, “Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God.”