What’s the worst thing about ancient history class? The teachers tend to Babylon.

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• Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

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• A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, ‘First offender?’ She says, ‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

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