Seen on Facebook: Just trying to setup an umbrella post to capture the wet weather spirit while Facebook is flooded with posts about the rain.
One Star Weather Jokes
Looks like the weather reporter is out of a job.
Turns out news of a coming flood was leaked.
Who was the meteorologist’s favourite relative?
His anticyclone
How do you make antifreeze?
Steal her blanket
What’s a weatherman’s favourite reptile?
A blizzard
How are men just like the weather?
You can’t do anything to change either one of them.
What’s it called when it’s raining ducks and chickens?
Fowl weather.
What’s more destructive than raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What’s a tornado’s favourite game?
Twister
Two Star Weather Jokes
Two guys sitting in at a football match waiting for the game to start.
One turns to the other and says,
“I hope the rain keeps up!”
“Oh – why?”
“So it doesn’t come down!”
Why do you eating casserole so much in Winter?
Because it’s chilli weather!
The snowstorm arrived at a fortuitous moment. It was white on time.
Three Star Weather Jokes
How do weather reporters greet each other?
With heat waves
Goodbye foggy weather – you won’t be mist.
Did you see the movie about that tornado?
It’s got a great twist.
Flooding problems at home?
I Noah guy.
Sadly a weather photographer friend of mine died recently.
His last photos of lighting storms were quite striking though.
Just recently we warned him to be careful chasing storms.
He didn’t listen and during a hail storm he was knocked out cold.
I find sunburnt people quite attractive.
I don’t know why, they’re just quite appealing.
Four Star Weather Jokes
I saw a weather forecast that said it’d be partly cloudy. I thought, that’s just like saying it’ll be partly sunny. They’re only 50% committed to their job.
You know how they say, “Red sky at night, sailor’s delight; red sky in the morning, sailor’s warning”? Well, I say, “Red sky at noon, the sun’s still up.”
I don’t trust weathermen. They’re the only people who can be wrong 50% of the time and still have a job.
I like the rain. It’s like the Earth is taking a shower. I always wondered, do continents use soap or just let the water do its thing?
It’s so hot outside, I saw a bird using a potholder to pull a worm out of the ground.
If the weather was a person, it would be that guy who says he’s going to show up for your party, but he never does, and then he calls you the next day and says, “Hey man, I was totally there, you just didn’t see me.”
When it’s cold outside, I like to stay in and pretend I’m a bear hibernating. Except, I don’t know if bears watch Netflix.
Weather forecasts are like horoscopes. They give you a general idea of what’s going to happen, but you know, deep down, it’s all up to chance.
If I could control the weather, I’d make it rain donuts. That way, everyone would be happy, and umbrellas would be way more delicious.
You know how people say it’s raining cats and dogs? I always wanted to see that, but then I thought, that would really hurt.
