My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.

• Next story What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
• Previous story I’d like to start a diet, but I’ve got too much on my plate right now.

You may also like...

• I have the heart of a lion… and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

  March 21, 2024

• When do doctors get angry? When they run out of patients.

  January 5, 2023

• A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that’s the last thing I need.

  December 6, 2022