I burned 2000 calories today, I left my food in the oven for too long.

• Next story If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks–it cost me an arm and a leg!
• Previous story I fear for the calendar, its days are numbered.

You may also like...

• No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

  August 17, 2023

• Yesterday I confused the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza”. Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

  May 2, 2021

• A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips. The barman replies “sorry mate we only do plain”

  October 28, 2024