Doctor you’ve got to help me, I’m addicted to Twitter. Doctor: I don’t follow you.

• Next story Don’t buy flowers at a monastery. Because only you can prevent florist friars.
• Previous story What did the piece of bread say to the knife? Butter me up.

You may also like...

• Why did Mozart kill all his chickens? Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they’d all say “Bach bach bach!”

  August 21, 2023

• They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian – they’re not laughing now.

  December 21, 2022

• I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year…the sails are going through the roof

  November 15, 2021